10 April 2016

April 10: Why?

Because I wanted to see
if I had the guts to do it;
because it's more
than I knew I could be
with myself.

Because the wind rushing
over my bald head feels
more like heaven
than anything society
can sanction for me;
and sometimes when
I wash my face, I forget
where my face ends and
where my head begins.
Who knew?

Also, who knew
how terrifying it would be
to walk the grimy streets of
Dilli, and know I am being
watched for my refusal to
behave, spelled out clear
in the summer grass on
my bold head? So, why?

Because I'm trying so hard
to shed everything

Because it gives me less
to hide behind. Less to
worry about. Less to do.

Because I want to be
so much less afraid
of androgyny
and also
of having to look
at my own unadorned

Because I refuse
markers of gender
on the ocean of my skin.
I am fluid. I smell like
water. I do not need to be

Because it forces me
to be the person
I want to be.

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